When I first went back to work, teaching yoga, I was overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility that had been placed on my shoulders. My daughter was three months old and my husband was already back to work full time. I scheduled my classes on weekends Friday – Sunday. I was teaching 6 classes over the course of those days along with a few private clients I could squeeze in between.
While, before having a baby, I would come home, relax and regroup before going back into the asana room, I came back to a crying baby, aching for milk and wanting my attention. Let alone the pile of dishes that were piling up during my absence. The workload was more than I was prepared to take on. I was trying to get everything done. And I couldn’t. Trying was depleting my energy tanks and making me feel inadequate.
You need a certain amount of endurance to teach a yoga class. It’s like a muscle. When you teach a lot, you have the endurance. When you don’t, you need to build back up the strength and stamina.
So here I was, Sunday night, week after week, exhausted. I was giving all of my energy away with very little to keep for my own wellbeing.
Then, a lightbulb went off.
What if I let the dishes pile up….allowed the laundry to go undone…ordered take out and actually RELAXED when I got home from teaching. Instead of playing with my little one, lay her down in bed, gaze into her eyes and just snuggle. What if I took a nap while she napped instead of try to answer the flood of emails piling up in my inbox. What if I went off of social media for those days so I don’t leak my energy thinking about what everyone else is doing and instead focus on what was in front of me. The realization was liberating.
So Monday became my catch up day. This has become a beautiful ritual for me. Every Monday I wake up and think to myself, I am going to catch up! It’s a sacred day in which I get to do all of the things I love and “clean up” in a way. I am a Virgo, and these tidy tendencies are part of my DNA. I actually feel better when my home environment is put together. It frees me up for creative projects and lots of play.
The moral of the story, take care of you. Let things get messy. Don’t focus on what’s not getting done but the space you are creating for present, beautiful moments. Everything will get done. Just as and when it needs to.